My Buddy James

     March 2nd it will be 5 years since my brother James passed away. I still miss him very much. There was nine years difference in our ages but you would never know it. We were always close and enjoyed spending time together. He often visited in our home and was living with us when he learned he had cancer. Take time to love those that are in your life, you never know how long you will have together. This is my tribute to someone that meant a great deal to me and I miss very much.




                                                            My Buddy James


     My brother, James and I were buddies as far back as I can remember. Losing him in 2008 was heart breaking for me. There was nine years difference in our ages but it did not seem like it when we were together.
     James, would tussle my hair when I was little and say, "Your OK little sis.". He made me feel like I was important. Mom was so busy with rest of the family that she had little time for me. James was the one that was there for me.
     Any gift James ever bought Linda and I (twins) was always special. My story, The White Dog,  is about the large white stuffed dogs he gave us when we were six. That Christmas is my most treasured Christmas memory.
   The second Christmas I remember most, James gave us small leather purses.They had a shoulder strap, the top of the purse flapped over and latched  in the front. They also had beautiful designs stamped in the leather. That was our first young ladies purse and they made us feel very special.
     James had a way of changing letters in words to make them unforgettable for kids. My favorite one is the bunny rabbit. He called them runny babbits. Every time I see a rabbit,  I say to myself, "There's a runny babbit." It reminds me of James and I have to smile. That simple memory brings him close to my heart.
     I was often at James' home after he married. I would help Sue with the kids, Jamie, Liz, and Paul, and Dean. Dean was Sue's younger brother that they had taken in to raise. I would also stay with them if Sue had to be gone. Sometimes I think I spent more time in their home than I did in mine. The kids would often go with David and I on dates. We would usually see an animated movie with them.
     Jamie, Paul and Dean were with me when I learned that their sister Liz had leukemia. That day was one of the hardest I ever had to deal with in my younger years. Liz died just seven weeks before David and I were married.
     James and I worked together over the years that I worked for the family. Some times I worked before school. I was also taking a class that allowed me to work during school hours, so I went to work at 1:00 PM
during the school year. Then the family opened a meat market and small grocery store next door to the packing house. James was the manager and he was a fair boss, but you were expected to do your job. I learned a lot from him. Those lessons guided me when I was in charge of a department myself, many years later. James never criticized you in front of anyone. As long as you did your job he would stand by you and would defend you to the boss, who happened to be our dad.
     Over the years James often traveled to our home for a visit. He and his family stayed with us a few times, for extended visits. In the later years he came to garage sale. He loved a good deal. Going with James was always fun and you learned what to look for.
     Throughout his life, James was found trying to keep peace in the family. Never complained, seldom did he argue. He never wanted to be the one that caused strife. He never judged, accused or condemned. James rarely spoke in anger, but did speak with conviction and love. He had his own way of teasing and loved to laugh. His most memorable remark that he often made, "That's life". That was exactly how he looked at life and lived it.
     To me, James was my buddy and hero. He never judged me or my life. Always sought to know both sides of any conflict. James was there when he was needed, supporting and helping when he could.
     When he called in January 2007 and said he wanted to leave Dexter and come live with us, he knew the answer. He would always have a place in our home. Only one time things were strained between us, he had borrowed a large sum of money, from my husband David, to buy a business. After a few years it closed and James was never able to repay the loan. James was withdrawn and quiet anytime we were together. David finely told him, "James, our relationship means more to me than the money. Consider the debt paid." After that our relationship grew even stronger. James and David could often be found driving around the Springfield area, and all the way to Branson, checking out the garage sales. Most of all we shared love with each and our families.
     Neither of us were ever close to dad, James became the one I looked to. He was my buddy and hero, standing up for me when no one else would. Accepted me and my family with unconditional love. Only once was I disappointed in him, but it was me learning that James was human and not perfect. We shared many heartaches, hurts, and tears over the years. Joy and lots of fun, but most of all love.
     Memories of James for David, our boys and me, will always be with great fondness and love. He will always be missed. James was very special to both of our boys. He taught them how to accept others and that family was worth setting aside the little differences that can often shatter a family.
     James is finely at rest in heaven, hugging his little girl, Liz.
     "Goodbye, my dear brother James, I will always miss you."


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Quilt Tops

     Chatting on Face Book last week with a cousin, Bennie, she shared that she was going to her Quilting Club. So many memories that commit brought back. Thank you for that reminder. It took me back to my grandma Aarant and watching her sitting at the large loom in her living room. Then to my mom and the quilts she made and so many quilt tops. These are memories I want my children and grand children to be able to at least read about and know of their heritage.

                                                               Quilt Tops

     Chatting on Face Book a few days ago with my cousin, Bennie, she shared that she was going to her Quilting Club. Oh, the memories that commit brought back. You know, the Lord delights in reminding us of the special times in life that helped to shape who we are today. 

     When mom would take Linda and I to visit grand ma Aarant, she often had a large quilting loom, set up in her living room. She would be sitting at the loom quilting, making perfect tiny stitches. Grand ma also had a small bowl that sat on the quilt, it held her needles, thimbles, and thread she needed, within easy reach. That small bowl is now apart of my family. Grand ma also taught mom to make those tiny stitches, sadly the ability was lost with me. I can't even sew on a button correctly. Taking Home Ec. in school didn't help. That large old loom showed up in our home from time to time, but mostly, those tiny little stitches showed up in the many quilt tops that mom made.

     For many years mom went to our church once a week and joined in on the Quilting Bee.You could always find the quilt loom set up in the activity building.There the ladies would spend time adding their stitches to the quilt they were working on. It was also their time to catch up on family news and share concerns. Most of the church was related in one way or another. So it was family time for the ladies. 

     As the years went by mom didn't have time for the Quilting Bee and only went when she could get away from family duties and work. Mom continued for many years to make her beautiful quilt tops. Alzheimer's finely required that she put aside the piecing of the quilt tops. With every single top that she made her tiny little stitches were a part of what made them so special. Every top was beautiful and made with love. One quilt top each year was donated to the Hospital Auxiliary for them to quilt and sell, to raise money for special hospital projects. 

     The last quilt top mom made was a special one for my family and very unique. When David's mother, Ruth,  passed away we found a quilt top she had started but only finished half of it. Fortunately it was in a box with all the pieces already cut out for the other half. Mom finished that quilt top for us. It is now in the position of our youngest son. One half pieced by grand mother Schantz and the other half pieced by grand ma Carney. What a unique gift, along with this story to someday hand down to his family. 

     After dad passed away, mom loved to sit near a window, so she could look out. It was there that she had all of her supplies, for piecing her quilt tops, within arms reach. There she sat happily making those tiny stitches on her project of love for some family member. Those stitches that her mommy taught so make so many years ago. I will always remember her sitting and stitching, often looking out the window to enjoy an animal in the yard.



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I Did Matter

                                                              I Did Matter


     This has been the week of Valentine's. So much love given out and shared. But there were many who did not see love or feel it this week. To often we forget about them and many really don't care, since it isn't them. There is someone, however, who does care. God created us in our mother's wombs, knit us together with love and is always seeking to have a love relationship with each of us, but, it is our choice. Even if no one else cares, to God we do matter. My prayer is that you will seek His love and know His love for you. God bless each and everyone on this day that the Lord has made.



                                                              I Did Matter

     As I stand in forgiveness, the healing complete. I remember the lies I had believed, from the enemy of God. Your life is worthless, no one even cares. You can do nothing to be accepted. You will never be loved. God will find you guilty and you'll never be forgiven. Used and discarded, others are saying you deserve what you got., you do not matter. Blaming myself, I was hiding in shame.
     My forgiveness for others and myself, the forgiveness of God, made my healing complete, no longer my guilt will He remember. Each sin has been covered by the blood of the lamb. My Father in heaven, to the enemy speaks. My child, you have hurt and to me will you answer and suffer your fate. You should have remembered, to Me, she does matter.

     Psalms 42:11
     Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance and my God.


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MOM and Dad

     Valentines day is only a few days away. How many of us know unconditional love? If we are lucky there is someone in our lives that does love us unconditionally, it could be a spouse, a child, brother, sister or a special friend. Growing up I was fortunate to have an older brother, James, he never put conditions on loving me. Always wanted to know my side in any situation. He has been gone almost 5 years now and I still miss him very much.
     There is someone that loves everyone of us totally and unconditionally. Our Lord Jesus Christ, loved us enough that he died for each one of us. His sacrifice of death will never be equaled.
     I thought about my mom and dad, before my dad died, he gave my mother the only letter he ever wrote to her. She never knew until then that he had come to love her. She never stopped praying for him and saw him give his life to God and was baptized before he died. Unconditional love, mom put no conditions on dad, but accepted him with all his faults.  They were both wonderful parents even with their faults and I will always be thankful for the lessons I learned from them.



                                                        MOM AND DAD


     Growing up I don't remember seeing mom and dad show a lot of affection to one another. No hugs or kisses were displayed. They also never argued in front of the kids. It was hard to learn what affection and love looked like. They always went out to the Hickory House to eat on Saturday night, their time away from the kids.
     After dad passed away in 1995, mom shared with me about their relationship. She always knew about dad's affairs. She insisted on going out on Saturday night, that was her way of saying to other women, he may spend time with you, but I am the one he will take out in public.
     Dad came to the house when James was very young, there was a lady and a little boy in the car. Dad asked for a divorce. Moms answer, there will be no divorce, we have a family to raise. It was never mentioned again and mom never knew who the woman and child were.
     It was late in dads life before he became a christian. Before he died, he gave mom the only letter he ever wrote to her. Mom gave me that letter after he passed away. I'm not sure that any of the family has ever seen the letter. I keep it in my bible.
     It read. "To my wife, I have had 65 years living with you. It has been good, I have enjoyed each day. I don't think I would have ever found anyone I would have loved as much as you. I know the time is coming to an end before long but we'll meet again. Let us try to enjoy the balance of time we have left together. With  love James Carney
     Mom cherished that letter. Said it was the first time she knew beyond a doubt that he had fallen in love with her. So much love and affection they could have shared together throughout the years, but was sadly wasted. There was peace and love in their marriage, yet it was rarely shown. I'm thankful that mom shared with me the secrets that were hidden in her heart. In her last years with her memory failing, we found a closeness we had never known.


      Be sure you tell the special people in your life that you love them. Don't waste the time you have together. Life is to short, I LOVE YOU, three simple little words but they can change the world. Happy Valentines Day, I Love You,  to all those special people in my life.



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Children Treasures From God

                                              Children Treasures From God    

       This week we learned that the baby our daughter-in-law Jaimee is carrying, is a little girl. Not to many
girls in our family, so we are delighted. We have one precious grand son Jonah that will be 2 in May and have a baby sister in June. Even now he is such a little entertainer. We love to hear him over the phone, chattering and stomping his feet to music. I didn't have music around when I was growing up. No one played an instrument. Thankfully Jonah is exposed  to lots of music from his mom and his other grand parents.    
      Thinking about children, I am reminded of the miracles that God gave us. We have two wonderful son's that are gifts from God. I wasn't expected to be able to carry a baby. The one think I always remembered, my boys were from God and they were his first and always. God only loaned them to us for a season. They are God's treasures and we were given the privilege of having them in our life.  I try always to give God the glory where Mike and James are concerned.
     Remember that God is the creator of each child. He oversees there development in the womb. Each one of us and all little one are fearfully and wonderfully made in our mothers womb. Treasure them as the child of God they are. He loans them to us, but he can take better care of them than we ever could. Trust them to Him.everyday of their life. He knows them better than we ever can.


                                             Children Treasures From God

     Children are the treasures from God that he shares with us. They are not our treasures to own. Our two son's were truly a treasure from heaven. Without God's intervention, we would never have been able to have them in our lives. We wanted them to grow up knowing God and to walk with him in their daily lives.
     Mike was rarely expected to care for his brother, five years younger. James was not allowed to become a total part of Mike's friendships. We encouraged them to make their own friends and to follow their own dreams. James would often want to do something that Mike was doing or go with him where ever he went., but he was told five years. He hated hearing that but Mike was five years older and able to do things that James was to young to do. That was one rule we always followed. As a result they had their own friends and things of interest that was theirs alone. Rarely did they fight or have major conflicts. They enjoyed the times they were together.Had many adventures, especially when we camped out. As they have grown older, their bond has grown stronger.
     Since David and I both worked and were able to have lunch together most days. we rarely went out and left them with a baby sitter. That was our time to teach them how to behave in public. Many of our treasured memories is when we would go camping. All of us loved those special times. Both the boys love the out doors and have respect for the land and animals. We always left our campsite in better condition when we left, than it was in when we arrived. Food always seems to taste better when cooked outdoors. The boys learned young about bullfrogs, lizards and the owls at night. We often heard the raccoons raiding the camp at night. They enjoyed playing in and around the water. Seldom did they play in a park.
     Our boys knew they were loved for who they were. Individuals with their own gifts and talents that God placed in them before they were born. We guided them the best we knew how, made mistakes but never gave up. Allowed them to grow and develop their own hopes and dreams. We have always remembered that they were our treasures from God and were thankful he had placed them in our lives. As they grew and traveled without us, I was often reminded, they belong to God and he can take better care of them than I can.
     Learn to love and cherish your children for the treasure they are. God honors us with the privilege of helping to open their individual gifts. Always give God the glory and praise for what he is doing in their lives.
Be thankful he has allowed you to share in their life



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