My Buddy James

     March 2nd it will be 5 years since my brother James passed away. I still miss him very much. There was nine years difference in our ages but you would never know it. We were always close and enjoyed spending time together. He often visited in our home and was living with us when he learned he had cancer. Take time to love those that are in your life, you never know how long you will have together. This is my tribute to someone that meant a great deal to me and I miss very much.




                                                            My Buddy James


     My brother, James and I were buddies as far back as I can remember. Losing him in 2008 was heart breaking for me. There was nine years difference in our ages but it did not seem like it when we were together.
     James, would tussle my hair when I was little and say, "Your OK little sis.". He made me feel like I was important. Mom was so busy with rest of the family that she had little time for me. James was the one that was there for me.
     Any gift James ever bought Linda and I (twins) was always special. My story, The White Dog,  is about the large white stuffed dogs he gave us when we were six. That Christmas is my most treasured Christmas memory.
   The second Christmas I remember most, James gave us small leather purses.They had a shoulder strap, the top of the purse flapped over and latched  in the front. They also had beautiful designs stamped in the leather. That was our first young ladies purse and they made us feel very special.
     James had a way of changing letters in words to make them unforgettable for kids. My favorite one is the bunny rabbit. He called them runny babbits. Every time I see a rabbit,  I say to myself, "There's a runny babbit." It reminds me of James and I have to smile. That simple memory brings him close to my heart.
     I was often at James' home after he married. I would help Sue with the kids, Jamie, Liz, and Paul, and Dean. Dean was Sue's younger brother that they had taken in to raise. I would also stay with them if Sue had to be gone. Sometimes I think I spent more time in their home than I did in mine. The kids would often go with David and I on dates. We would usually see an animated movie with them.
     Jamie, Paul and Dean were with me when I learned that their sister Liz had leukemia. That day was one of the hardest I ever had to deal with in my younger years. Liz died just seven weeks before David and I were married.
     James and I worked together over the years that I worked for the family. Some times I worked before school. I was also taking a class that allowed me to work during school hours, so I went to work at 1:00 PM
during the school year. Then the family opened a meat market and small grocery store next door to the packing house. James was the manager and he was a fair boss, but you were expected to do your job. I learned a lot from him. Those lessons guided me when I was in charge of a department myself, many years later. James never criticized you in front of anyone. As long as you did your job he would stand by you and would defend you to the boss, who happened to be our dad.
     Over the years James often traveled to our home for a visit. He and his family stayed with us a few times, for extended visits. In the later years he came to garage sale. He loved a good deal. Going with James was always fun and you learned what to look for.
     Throughout his life, James was found trying to keep peace in the family. Never complained, seldom did he argue. He never wanted to be the one that caused strife. He never judged, accused or condemned. James rarely spoke in anger, but did speak with conviction and love. He had his own way of teasing and loved to laugh. His most memorable remark that he often made, "That's life". That was exactly how he looked at life and lived it.
     To me, James was my buddy and hero. He never judged me or my life. Always sought to know both sides of any conflict. James was there when he was needed, supporting and helping when he could.
     When he called in January 2007 and said he wanted to leave Dexter and come live with us, he knew the answer. He would always have a place in our home. Only one time things were strained between us, he had borrowed a large sum of money, from my husband David, to buy a business. After a few years it closed and James was never able to repay the loan. James was withdrawn and quiet anytime we were together. David finely told him, "James, our relationship means more to me than the money. Consider the debt paid." After that our relationship grew even stronger. James and David could often be found driving around the Springfield area, and all the way to Branson, checking out the garage sales. Most of all we shared love with each and our families.
     Neither of us were ever close to dad, James became the one I looked to. He was my buddy and hero, standing up for me when no one else would. Accepted me and my family with unconditional love. Only once was I disappointed in him, but it was me learning that James was human and not perfect. We shared many heartaches, hurts, and tears over the years. Joy and lots of fun, but most of all love.
     Memories of James for David, our boys and me, will always be with great fondness and love. He will always be missed. James was very special to both of our boys. He taught them how to accept others and that family was worth setting aside the little differences that can often shatter a family.
     James is finely at rest in heaven, hugging his little girl, Liz.
     "Goodbye, my dear brother James, I will always miss you."


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