Thursday, April 25, 2013

Tears Of Grace


So much is still going on in our country. Many tears are shed for the lost and those left behind that  are have trouble finding peace. We all shed tears through out our lives, tears of joy, happiness, sorrow, grief and regrets. God keeps track of our tears, he gathers them for he knows they are special to each one of us. God shares the joys and heartaches that are with each tear. I pray this will give bring someone comfort in these troubled times. My view of tears as a parent.



                                                               Tears of Grace

     Throughout life we shed tears for many reasons. Tears in every phase of our lives, from our birth to our death. The birth of a baby, their first word spoken, their first steps taken. Tears of pride and joy. A child's first day of school. A recital or first sports event.  The growth through each phase of their young lives. Changing from a child to a teen, tears of pride.
     Drivers test passed, the first date. Watching them blossom with their own special gifts. A singer, dancer, construction worker and some even politics is what the future will bring. The tears of concern as we loosen the strings of parenthood. We watch as they become young adults, leaving home for a new school or a career in life. Watching as they make choices that will effect the rest of their life. The tears of anxiety, pride and sometimes heartaches for poor choices they make.
     Then the years with new concerns, marriage and children of their own. Did we teach them all they need to know or did we fail in some way. Moving into a new life with new friends, new family connections, new homes often far away. They change constantly pulling them further from our home. Tears, a mix of pride, joy, anxiety and hope for their lives.
     Illness and death bring a new kind of tears. Learning of an illness that will change a life and family forever. The death of someone we love, how do we control; the tears. Tears of heartaches and sorrow. Sometimes the tears of anger. In life there is nothing that is perfect or forever. Loss of a home or job, tears of fear facing tomorrow. So many living in hunger and homelessness, many neglected and abused. Others bad choices made. Drugs, abortion, murder and hatred, all seeking our destruction. Tears of great sorrow and sometimes shame.
     The tears we shed, knowing we are forgiven and safe in the arms of our Lord. Each tear caught in a bottle of grace, returned to us as peace, if are willing to receive. No anger, no bitterness, revenge or hate can come between me and Gods forgiving grace. Tears of every emotion there is, but, we know Gods grace is more than sufficient to cover them all. Every tear is caught up in that bottle of grace for each man of creation.  The hands of our Lord to guard and protect for the treasure they are. Tears of grace teaching us and drawing us ever closer to the Lord. The tears of grace is a part of our journey and touches every life.


     Psalm 56:8-13 JKV
     Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: I know; for God is for me. In God will I praise his word: in the Lord will I praise praise his word. In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. Thy vows are upon me, O God; I will render praise unto thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death: will not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living.



© Copyright 2013  All right reserved.

Friday, April 19, 2013

WHY GRACE and MORE THAN ENOUGH

Dear friends and family,
My heart is heavy with all the tragedy of this week. Watching the manhunt on TV last night and into today has been hard. I'm thankful that one bomber is out of circulation but there is still one to capture. What is sad is that these young men are not the real enemy but are driven by the enemy of all of mankind. But they are the ones that will answer for what they have done and rightfully so. 
How do we go on after a disaster like we had in Boston and in West, Texas. So many lives affected and many for years to come. My prayers go out to all. What makes it possible to go on after any disaster of any
kind. Bombings, earthquakes, fires, murders, kidnappings, child abuse and illness, how do we continue in life. Heartaches run so deep and grief lingers for years to come. Having had a child molested and cousins murdered, the only way I know to get through the pain is the grace of God. Most of the world throw his teachings to the dogs and want no part of HIM, but often cry out for him in the last moments of life. I want to share with you, Why Grace and More Than Enough. Why is it that we need God's grace? God is more than enough to cover all out needs, heartaches and grief. Learn to lean on him in this time of great sorrow for our country and as individuals who are devastated. Those that love God and our fellow countryman  are reaching out to help and prayers from those that are unable to help in any other way. May you feel the love of God and his peace and the prayers and support of this great land we live in. God may not answer our prayers the way we want but he will be with each of us on our journey of grace. 


                                                              WHY GRACE 

If we have no purpose in life, then we have no need of GRACE. But, we do have purpose and we need Grace in our everyday walk. It is especially needed in these tough times we live in, that are often filled with conflict and doubts. 
Women of God are bathed in grace. Devoted and faithful, with the ability to overcome hardships and defeats. They have a desire to make the world  a better place for everyone. 
Men of God are also bathed in Grace to be a protector and provider for those under their care. They are the warriors and hunters, seeking to be a conqueror and hero. 
We must remember all things come from God. It is God's Grace that goes with us throughout each day. The grace of God heals, provides and sustains our lives. Grace brings peace in times of heartaches and worry. Safety and courage in times of fear and disaster. Sufficient Grace is the umbilical cord that keeps us connected to God.

Psalm 145:8-9
The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion: slow to anger, and of great mercies. The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all this woks. 



                                                           MORE THAN ENOUGH

Is there any way we can have to much of God? NO! He is all we need. He is the calm in the storms of life, that we all go through and he is our guard in the daily wars we fight. When we are weakest, he is our strength. Only God can bring us peace in times of sorrow. When we can no longer walk, he carries us. He is reason in times of confusion. He is more than enough for all our needs. 
     He is our healer in times of sickness. 
     He wipes away the tears of the broken and heavy heart.
     He is our courage and strength to face each day.
     He loves us, though hated by many.
     He is our encourager when we are down.
     He knows our every sin, yet forgives when we ask.
     He gently corrects us when we do wrong.
     He gives us peace and joy for our sorrow and pain.
On the day he dyed on the cross, he thought of each one of us and freely gave his life, that we might be free. He took our sins and made them his own, so that he could pay the debt, that we could never pay. Can we have to much of God, NO. When we allow him to have all of us, we will become a reflection of HIM.


    

   

©  Copyright 2013 all right reserved


                                                   

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Six So Very Different


    Since siblings is being honored, I thought I would share about me and my siblings. The good things and a few of the disappointments. I was fortunate to be raised in a large family and extended family. Seems we often had cousins drop in for the weekend and some would stay for a time. I love family visits even if it meant
someone had to sleep on the floor. Be thankful for those in your family. Love each one, they are a creation of God. If there is one you have a problem with remember to pray for them. God is the healer of all hurts. You never know what may happen tomorrow and they will no longer be with you. Love them while you can.



                                                         Six So very Different

     Six of us kids in the family. We were all so very different. Phyllis, the oldest, I believe took more after her mothers family than dad's. She has a gentle calmness that reminded me of her grandma Cooper. Even though she was not my grandma, I still claimed her. It was fun to stop and visit at her home. Phyllis does not like clutter. Don't leave anything unattended for long, it will be gone. Her home seemed to always be spotless. Likes the outdoors and being with family and friends. Could make anything at a sewing machine. She made many of her daughter Denya's outfits and things for the house. My dear sister even made my wedding gown. Denya has given her four grand daughters and now her first great grand son. Brent lives is the house across the street from Phyllis, where he grew up.
     James was more like mom. Rarely showed his emotions. He often told me, just ignore the hurtful things, keep peace in the family. He was the one that was always there for me. Seldom was he angry, when he was, you had better listen. When he was hurt, he hurt deeply, but never let the offender see it. If unjustly accused, he would prove you wrong about him. He enjoyed teasing but was never mean or cruel. Loved to cook, was at his best with a BBQ grill. At his death he left behind children, grand children and great grand children. They will miss out getting to know a wonderful man that loved all of them deeply. I miss him very much.
     Kenny is more like dad. Both quick to make judgement calls. Don't tell him he can't do something, he will get it done. Determined to do his best with whatever he sets out to do. Very loyal to those he loves. Hard to gain his acceptance, yet few see that in him. A very good auctioneer. Loves the outdoors and horses. Was active with both of his kids in rodeos. Truly enjoys watching his grand kids ride now. They are all involved in riding and rodeos. Sadly Kenny and I have never been close. We have both lost out getting to know each others family.
     Linda was soft spoken like mom.Seldom did she show her anger. She carried a lot of heartaches later in her life. Linda could not handle rejection and often dealt with it in the wrong way. Could be sneaky when she wanted to be. Because Linda was so small, mom never let her grow up but treated her like a little girl all her life. Mom never knew how much Linda resented that. She was a hard worker and most of her life she cared for the needs of others. We were close growing up, despite the difference mom made in us. Her health issues put a strain on all of her relationships and it finely claimed her life. Linda left behind two wonderful daughters. Now there are three grand sons and two grand daughters. As twins we had a very special bond and there are so many wonderful memories of her. I still miss her.
     Becky, now she was the rebel, still is to a degree. At times quick tempered. More like dad and Kenny. Don't tell her no, she will do what she wants. Stood her ground with dad. Mom would just shake her head when they would start to argue. She often thought Becky just liked to argue with him. If mom didn't approve of what Becky wore, she would wear it anyway. Becky has always loved animals. Was the first and only one of the kids allowed to have a pet in the house, other than a bird. Mad a pet of every animal that came near her, horses, cows, a lama, rabbit, cats and of course dogs. Becky has an amazing son and daughter.
     Me (Brenda), mom once told me she expected me to become the family peace keeper. Was upset when I didn't return to Dexter to live. Rarely do I get angry, deal with it before I speak. Like mom and James I hurt deeply but rarely show it. Forgive quickly and hold no grudges. I'm accepting of others and loyal to those closest to me. Love to laugh and enjoy life. Love to write about God's Amazing Grace in my life. As I'm getting older, I speak up when I need to and it is important, yet still working at it. I have two amazing son, gifts I know that came from God. One grandson Jonah and a grand daughter to be born in June 2013.
     There is over twenty two years difference between Phyllis and Becky, mom said, it was like raising three families. Yet for the most part we grew up a close family. For many years we all lived close to one another and many of us worked together in the family business. Phyllis and Kenny like a lot of the same things. Worked together at different jobs. Both love to be with family and friends and love camping in trailers, not tents.
     James and I were buddies and I can't remember a time in my life when we were not close. His death was very hard for me. We always knew we could count on one another. When all the family was together, we both felt like outsiders. Just didn't seem to fit in with everyone.
     Linda and Becky, they fit with everyone. Linda and I were always close growing up, even though we were treated so very differently. She was the little girl and I was expected to be more grown up and look after her. We both resented being put in that position. Becky probably is the one that is close to all of us. She grew up with all the different ages and was able to make a connection with each one. Becky and I have been close most of her life. I often ran interference for her with mom. We have shared a lot of heartaches together over the years.
     Growing up we had a good home, even though dysfunctional, with lots of love. You learned to accept one another and over look the little irritations that happen in most families. God's grace was always there but we never took the time to notice. God did not have an important place in our lives. I am thankful that today I can look back and see God's grace watching over me and going before me through my life.I love all my siblings and proud of what each of them has accomplished in their lives.





(c) Copyright 2013  All rights reserved

   

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why I Must Forgive and The Cost

Easter is over and the message that was given is forgiveness. There is almost nothing we can do that God will not forgive. When we do something wrong we want that forgiveness from God and from man, but often, we are not willing to give the forgiveness to others. How and why should we forgive someone that has not asked for forgiveness and their actions will have an effect on our lives, sometimes for generations to come. That is a question I had to answer, as a mother of a child that was molested, I had to ask God, why should I forgive and how do I. I had to look at what The Cost was to my Lord to forgive me and then look at what un-forgiveness was costing my family. So many of us have hard journeys to make, they are not easy but we can grow through them or become bitter. Bitterness brings no peace and joy to our lives and only hurts those we love the most. Take a Journey Of Grace with me, as God taught me to forgive as he has forgiven.


                                                              The Cost

     Why did Jesus have to die on the cross? Could we not get to heaven another way? When mankind rebelled against God and entered into sin, He required a sacrifice of blood for our redemption. It was a debt that man could not pay. Through his love for us God made a way. He provided the Holy sacrifice. 
     Our Lord gave up being God for you and me. A humble man he became, setting aside his glory and power. He became the man that Adam failed to be. The shed blood of the Son of God is what it cost to purchase freedom for you and me. 
     He paid the debt that we could never pay. For all our afflictions he bore the stripes at the whipping post of man. Beaten and abused he accepted our shame and disgrace. Nailed to the cross he was covered with the sins of mankind. Broken and grieving but the worst was yet to come. My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me. The horrors of sin, God could not look upon. Total separation from God, as he turned away from his only begotten son. Our Savior understood what man never can, the cost of total separation of God from man. In that moment of time we faintly can see the devastation that sin has brought to you and me. Our relationship with God broken by the sins in our lives. It was the blood, the life of the only begotten Son of God, that was required for the redemption of you and me. 

     John 10:17-18
     Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. 



                                                       Why I Must Forgive

     To often on the news we hear of a child being molested and heard a parent say, I will never forgive them for what they have done to my child. Sadly, they often become angry, bitter and judgmental.
     As a parent, one of the greatest sorrows is to have a child molested. As that parent, I had to ask, Why should I forgive? But I learned, I had to.
     What is so often over looked in our anger, hurt, self blame and shame,is the child. They have issues of fear, shame and guilt. When the child sees their parents react with anger and hate, it is easy to blame their self. Right or wrong the child has an emotional connection to their abuser. Often they believe that somehow it was their fault. Maybe they were careless or did not obey Mom and Dad. 
     Forgiveness is the only way to help the child heal. To become open and willing to share. Put away the shame and guilt, stop blaming self and stop hiding. Only secrets can hurt us. We will always be afraid someone will find out the family secret.
     When we as parents can forgive, share and not be ashamed, our child can also forgive their abuser and their self. Then the family can help others to heal. It is then that many can be touched by the Grace of God. 
     We often feel, if we forgive the abuser, they have gotten away with the crime. But what we must realize, we forgive the person, not the crime they committed. They must still be brought to account for what they have done. It is only through the Grace of God that we are able to forgive.
    One question I had to ask, Do I love my child more than I hate the criminal? Our show of love and forgiveness or hate and rejection is how our child will see their self. The Grace to forgive is the greatest gift that I could give my child.

     Psalm 130:3-4
     If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But, there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. 

     I wrote this piece many years ago but rarely shared it. When I started writing for my book, Journey Of Grace (not published yet), I gave the piece to my son to read and told him it was up to him if was in my book or not. He was quiet for a time after reading it and then said, Mom, don't change a thing. That is what has gotten me through all of these years. The gift of Grace, God freely gives to each of us, how can we deny Grace to another.




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