Why I Must Forgive and The Cost

Easter is over and the message that was given is forgiveness. There is almost nothing we can do that God will not forgive. When we do something wrong we want that forgiveness from God and from man, but often, we are not willing to give the forgiveness to others. How and why should we forgive someone that has not asked for forgiveness and their actions will have an effect on our lives, sometimes for generations to come. That is a question I had to answer, as a mother of a child that was molested, I had to ask God, why should I forgive and how do I. I had to look at what The Cost was to my Lord to forgive me and then look at what un-forgiveness was costing my family. So many of us have hard journeys to make, they are not easy but we can grow through them or become bitter. Bitterness brings no peace and joy to our lives and only hurts those we love the most. Take a Journey Of Grace with me, as God taught me to forgive as he has forgiven.

                                                              The Cost

     Why did Jesus have to die on the cross? Could we not get to heaven another way? When mankind rebelled against God and entered into sin, He required a sacrifice of blood for our redemption. It was a debt that man could not pay. Through his love for us God made a way. He provided the Holy sacrifice. 

     Our Lord gave up being God for you and me. A humble man he became, setting aside his glory and power. He became the man that Adam failed to be. The shed blood of the Son of God is what it cost to purchase freedom for you and me. 

     He paid the debt that we could never pay. For all our afflictions he bore the stripes at the whipping post of man. Beaten and abused he accepted our shame and disgrace. Nailed to the cross he was covered with the sins of mankind. Broken and grieving but the worst was yet to come. My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me. The horrors of sin, God could not look upon. Total separation from God, as he turned away from his only begotten son. Our Savior understood what man never can, the cost of total separation of God from man. In that moment of time we faintly can see the devastation that sin has brought to you and me. Our relationship with God broken by the sins in our lives. It was the blood, the life of the only begotten Son of God, that was required for the redemption of you and me. 

     John 10:17-18

     Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. 

                                                       Why I Must Forgive

     To often on the news we hear of a child being molested and heard a parent say, I will never forgive them for what they have done to my child. Sadly, they often become angry, bitter and judgmental.

     As a parent, one of the greatest sorrows is to have a child molested. As that parent, I had to ask, Why should I forgive? But I learned, I had to.

     What is so often over looked in our anger, hurt, self blame and shame,is the child. They have issues of fear, shame and guilt. When the child sees their parents react with anger and hate, it is easy to blame their self. Right or wrong the child has an emotional connection to their abuser. Often they believe that somehow it was their fault. Maybe they were careless or did not obey Mom and Dad. 

     Forgiveness is the only way to help the child heal. To become open and willing to share. Put away the shame and guilt, stop blaming self and stop hiding. Only secrets can hurt us. We will always be afraid someone will find out the family secret.

     When we as parents can forgive, share and not be ashamed, our child can also forgive their abuser and their self. Then the family can help others to heal. It is then that many can be touched by the Grace of God. 

     We often feel, if we forgive the abuser, they have gotten away with the crime. But what we must realize, we forgive the person, not the crime they committed. They must still be brought to account for what they have done. It is only through the Grace of God that we are able to forgive.

    One question I had to ask, Do I love my child more than I hate the criminal? Our show of love and forgiveness or hate and rejection is how our child will see their self. The Grace to forgive is the greatest gift that I could give my child.

     Psalm 130:3-4

     If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But, there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. 

     I wrote this piece many years ago but rarely shared it. When I started writing for my book, Journey Of Grace (not published yet), I gave the piece to my son to read and told him it was up to him if was in my book or not. He was quiet for a time after reading it and then said, Mom, don't change a thing. That is what has gotten me through all of these years. The gift of Grace, God freely gives to each of us, how can we deny Grace to another.




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