Tomorrow is Fathers Day. Not the easiest for me to write about but maybe it will help someone who struggles with whether or not their dad loved them. Dad and I were never close, his dad dies before I was born. Grandpa Aarant, I liked him, but I was young when he passed away. The one that was more like a dad and was my strength and encourager growing up was my brother (my buddy) James. Yet I knew my dad loved me but never showed it. There was a day in my young life that I knew dad loved me and was there when I needed him. If your relationship with your dad is or was strained, after reading my story, look back in your life and see if you can find a time that your dad was there for you and know he did love you. Life often becomes overwhelming, parents and children get separated, the relationship broken. Find peace knowing he did love you, always have and always will or did, but just didn't know how to break down the barriers. Dad I love you and miss you. I'll see you again one day. What a day that will be.
Dad And I
Looking back over my life, I sadly realized, Dad and I never really bonded. As far back as I could remember, our relationship was always strained. My brother, James, was the one that made me feel accepted and that I was OK. I grew up feeling Dad never cared for me. He never once asked my side of any situation, but believed whatever someone said about me and punished me for it. Yet, somehow I knew he did love me. He just didn't know how to show it.
That feeling haunted me for many years. Why couldn't I gain his approval? As I started to journal years ago and deal with issues in my past, I was able to recall the end of one of my memories, it concerned the doctor's dog. I was probably in the first grade, mom had taken us to the family grocery store in downtown Dexter. Often Linda and I played in front of the store, skipping on the sidewalk. That day I skipped to the adjacent doctors office. Just as I got there doctor came out with his dog, a Boxer. I scared the dag and he jumped at me growling. I turned, and started running, and screaming all the way past the grocery store, around the corner, and down the alley, I went. Mom yelled, "Jimmy catch her." yelling back Dad asked, "Which way did she go?" "Down the alley", was the reply. Running through the store and out the back door, Dad caught me up in his arms and held me tight. I knew I was safe.
I know that Dad did care and had come to my rescue, when as a little girl, I needed my Daddy most. A lot of heartaches healed, just from that one memory. Even today, I am not fond of Boxers.
Shortly after that incident Grandma Carney passed away and a three year battle over the estate began. I believe Dad became over whelmed with life and all the responsibilities he had, there just wasn't much time or energy left for the kids.
© Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Learn To Deal With It and The Years Of Physical Pain
With all the storms and death and destruction, we hear others make comments that really are offensive. People mean well but really don't understand what someone is going through. One of those comments is, Learn To Deal With It. However until you know and have some understanding of what you are going through, it is hard to deal with. As a young teenager, I heard that comment and it was devastating to me. What followed was four years of physical pain that no one understood and no one knew why. That one comment nearly destroyed my life.
Because of that experience, today I have a lot more compassion and understanding for others. I do not look at someone and simply say, that's part of life and you just deal with it. God gives us knowledge and wisdom and then grace to walk through the tough times that we don't understand. He can use those times to help us grow better or we can become bitter at life. For me, I refuse to be bitter just because we didn't know all the facts.Walk with me as I share a very difficult time in my life.I share both of these writings together because they are so much a part of the other. So bear with me as it is a little longer than most of my post.
Learn To Deal With It
Early summer, just after I finished the eighth grade, my monthly cycles started. By the third month, I had extreme cramps. When I went to Mom about it, her answer to me was crushing. "All women have the same problem and you will have to learn to deal with it." I never was able to talk to Mom about my pain and she never understood how bad it really was.
Four years I suffered, missing a week of school every month. Not one of the family knew how bad the pain got for me. I've never talked to any of them about those years. My sister Linda and brother James, were the ones that would check on me and ask how I was doing, but, I never told them how bad I was hurting.No one ever knew the amount of drugs I took to get through those five days each month. Mom would just remind me, I was not allowed to complain, just deal with it.
By my senior years the pain became intolerable. No one at school ever knew my problem. Never talked to a friend about it and no one ever asked why, I missed so much school.
Dr J. Tosh was the doctor God placed in my life, he was the only one that saw the tole the pain was having on me. In December of 1964 he stepped in and told Mom what would be done. He recognized the mental state I was in, but, never said anything to Mom. He talked to me about it two years later, just before David and I were married.
I was deeply wounded by the statement, "learn to deal with it". No one to share with and at times seemed no one cared. The distance between Mom and I was slow to heal. When I began seeking freedom through God's grace, I was able to see Mom from a different perspective. I can now look back and see how Satan used the pain in my life to drive a wedge between us. Thankfully the Lord helped me heal all the hurts and heartaches before Mom passed away.
Colossians 3:13-15 KJV
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
The Years Of Physical Pain
My life began with the protecting grace of God. Throughout my high school years, that grace protected and sustained me. Four years of physical and mental pain that my family knew very little about. I learned first, growing into a women would be accompanied with great pain. Each month only got worse for me. When I sought comfort and advice, I was told, it is a women's burden to bear. We all live with some a pain. Learn to deal with it. But, each month the pain got worse. Frustrated the doctors gave me medications for pain and my nerves. It did help, yet I missed a week of school every month. I had no one to talk to or share with and my grades always suffered.
Each month, though the pain was bearable with medication, it was still difficult. I did a lot of crying no one ever saw. Dr J. Tosh was the surgeon God placed in my life. The fourth year, my senior year, December 1964, the pain was no longer bearable physically or mentally, even with the medications. No one knew the amount of drugs I was taking just to get by each month. Mostly what no one knew or understood, my mind was no longer dealing with the pain.
That day in December, I was home alone, suddenly the fear, the loneliness, and the pain became overwhelming for me. I heard myself screaming and could not stop. I saw a large black hole and I was hanging onto the rim, knowing if I let go I would never find my way back. I knew my mind was about to snap and I had no way to stop it. When suddenly, the phone rang, it brought me out of the fear I was feeling. It was Mom. I met her in the driveway and we headed to the doctors office in Poplar Bluff. As I lay in the back seat crying, Mom said, "Brenda, you have to stop crying your making me nervous and it's hard to drive". Mom never heard me cry or saw another tear from me.
As I sat in Dr. Tosh's office, he kept watching me, as he and Mom talked. Finely, placing his hands palm down on his desk, he said, "Brenda has had enough, I'm putting her on birth control pills to stop per periods completely. It will get her through school without any more problems. After graduation we'll put her in the hospital for exploratory surgery. If nothing is found, we will clip the nerves, she will have her monthly cycle but without pain".
For six months, I actually learned what it was like to have somewhat of a normal life. It allowed my mind to heal and flush my system of all the medications I had been taking. Only the grace of God made it possible to set the medications aside with no affect or addiction. Fortunately I took the meds only for the five days they were needed.
On Monday, after graduation, I checked into the hospital for surgery the next day. I remember a class mate and friend from church, Susan was also in the hospital to have her tonsils out. She was not dealing with it and they had to put her to sleep. Her Mom came to see me. She asked,"You have no ideal what you are facing and yet you are so calm. What is giving you so much peace?' I don't remember what I told her. But, I somehow knew that it was going to be alright. I had faith and trust in my doctor. Today I have no doubt God's grace was sustaining me.
Family was told I'd be in surgery about forty five minutes. After more than three hours, they were told the doctor had found the problem. Several more hours passed and the nurses were avoiding the family. Finely eight and a half hours later surgery was over and I was in recovery. Dr. Tosh sat down and explained the problem to Mom. My female organs were extremely deformed. He took my uterus out, put it on a table, where he cut it into sections.Discarded some parts and them made a new one from the rest. He then put me back together. He also told Mom that my body could reject all he had done, so for seventy two hours he would keep me asleep. He wanted to make sure that there was no infection or rejection before I woke up.
I can still remember my three conversations during that time. The first I asked for Mom. My two aunts where with me. Mom had gone out for awhile but would be back soon. The nurse gave me shot and I was back to sleep. The second time, my sister Linda and cousin Sandra were with me. They were holding my arm down, I had jerked upward and that arm had needles in it. Dad was there the third time with flowers from David. I remember telling them I was cold. Another shot. After seventy two hours I started waking up, but I was in a private room with a private nurse. The surgery had been a success and I would be able to have a normal life for the first time.
Dr. Tosh continued to see me over the next two years for follow ups. In May 1967 I went to see him just weeks before David and I were married. We talked about my being able to have children. He told me I now had a chance, but to expect some problems. Possibly total bed rest. Might not be able to carry a baby full term. and I would have to have a c-section. During the surgery he had to remove the birth canal.
Before I left the office he talked about that December day in 1964. He said, "Brenda, your family never knew how bad the pain was or how it was effecting your mind, did they"! I shook my head no and he continued, "I saw it in your eyes that day. Your mind was no longer dealing with the pain.I knew we had to take steps that day to get you through until surgery and allow your mind to heal. I knew we were about to lose you. That is why I stopped your periods." He saw what was going on in my mind just by looking in my eyes, yet not one of my family had any idea how bad off I was.
I am so grateful to Dr. Tosh. He saved not only my life from living in pain, but my sanity as well. He made it possible for David and I to have two wonderful healthy little boys. Most of all I give thanks to God for his grace and protection through those years of physical pain and for the wisdom and knowledge that he gave Dr. Tosh.
I saw Dr. Tosh over the years. The last time was seventeen years after the surgery. I had to have one more surgery, he had to remove all the work he had originally done. His greatest delight was seeing our two little boys, Michael and James.
(C) Copyright. All rights reserved 2013
Because of that experience, today I have a lot more compassion and understanding for others. I do not look at someone and simply say, that's part of life and you just deal with it. God gives us knowledge and wisdom and then grace to walk through the tough times that we don't understand. He can use those times to help us grow better or we can become bitter at life. For me, I refuse to be bitter just because we didn't know all the facts.Walk with me as I share a very difficult time in my life.I share both of these writings together because they are so much a part of the other. So bear with me as it is a little longer than most of my post.
Learn To Deal With It
Early summer, just after I finished the eighth grade, my monthly cycles started. By the third month, I had extreme cramps. When I went to Mom about it, her answer to me was crushing. "All women have the same problem and you will have to learn to deal with it." I never was able to talk to Mom about my pain and she never understood how bad it really was.
Four years I suffered, missing a week of school every month. Not one of the family knew how bad the pain got for me. I've never talked to any of them about those years. My sister Linda and brother James, were the ones that would check on me and ask how I was doing, but, I never told them how bad I was hurting.No one ever knew the amount of drugs I took to get through those five days each month. Mom would just remind me, I was not allowed to complain, just deal with it.
By my senior years the pain became intolerable. No one at school ever knew my problem. Never talked to a friend about it and no one ever asked why, I missed so much school.
Dr J. Tosh was the doctor God placed in my life, he was the only one that saw the tole the pain was having on me. In December of 1964 he stepped in and told Mom what would be done. He recognized the mental state I was in, but, never said anything to Mom. He talked to me about it two years later, just before David and I were married.
I was deeply wounded by the statement, "learn to deal with it". No one to share with and at times seemed no one cared. The distance between Mom and I was slow to heal. When I began seeking freedom through God's grace, I was able to see Mom from a different perspective. I can now look back and see how Satan used the pain in my life to drive a wedge between us. Thankfully the Lord helped me heal all the hurts and heartaches before Mom passed away.
Colossians 3:13-15 KJV
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
The Years Of Physical Pain
My life began with the protecting grace of God. Throughout my high school years, that grace protected and sustained me. Four years of physical and mental pain that my family knew very little about. I learned first, growing into a women would be accompanied with great pain. Each month only got worse for me. When I sought comfort and advice, I was told, it is a women's burden to bear. We all live with some a pain. Learn to deal with it. But, each month the pain got worse. Frustrated the doctors gave me medications for pain and my nerves. It did help, yet I missed a week of school every month. I had no one to talk to or share with and my grades always suffered.
Each month, though the pain was bearable with medication, it was still difficult. I did a lot of crying no one ever saw. Dr J. Tosh was the surgeon God placed in my life. The fourth year, my senior year, December 1964, the pain was no longer bearable physically or mentally, even with the medications. No one knew the amount of drugs I was taking just to get by each month. Mostly what no one knew or understood, my mind was no longer dealing with the pain.
That day in December, I was home alone, suddenly the fear, the loneliness, and the pain became overwhelming for me. I heard myself screaming and could not stop. I saw a large black hole and I was hanging onto the rim, knowing if I let go I would never find my way back. I knew my mind was about to snap and I had no way to stop it. When suddenly, the phone rang, it brought me out of the fear I was feeling. It was Mom. I met her in the driveway and we headed to the doctors office in Poplar Bluff. As I lay in the back seat crying, Mom said, "Brenda, you have to stop crying your making me nervous and it's hard to drive". Mom never heard me cry or saw another tear from me.
As I sat in Dr. Tosh's office, he kept watching me, as he and Mom talked. Finely, placing his hands palm down on his desk, he said, "Brenda has had enough, I'm putting her on birth control pills to stop per periods completely. It will get her through school without any more problems. After graduation we'll put her in the hospital for exploratory surgery. If nothing is found, we will clip the nerves, she will have her monthly cycle but without pain".
For six months, I actually learned what it was like to have somewhat of a normal life. It allowed my mind to heal and flush my system of all the medications I had been taking. Only the grace of God made it possible to set the medications aside with no affect or addiction. Fortunately I took the meds only for the five days they were needed.
On Monday, after graduation, I checked into the hospital for surgery the next day. I remember a class mate and friend from church, Susan was also in the hospital to have her tonsils out. She was not dealing with it and they had to put her to sleep. Her Mom came to see me. She asked,"You have no ideal what you are facing and yet you are so calm. What is giving you so much peace?' I don't remember what I told her. But, I somehow knew that it was going to be alright. I had faith and trust in my doctor. Today I have no doubt God's grace was sustaining me.
Family was told I'd be in surgery about forty five minutes. After more than three hours, they were told the doctor had found the problem. Several more hours passed and the nurses were avoiding the family. Finely eight and a half hours later surgery was over and I was in recovery. Dr. Tosh sat down and explained the problem to Mom. My female organs were extremely deformed. He took my uterus out, put it on a table, where he cut it into sections.Discarded some parts and them made a new one from the rest. He then put me back together. He also told Mom that my body could reject all he had done, so for seventy two hours he would keep me asleep. He wanted to make sure that there was no infection or rejection before I woke up.
I can still remember my three conversations during that time. The first I asked for Mom. My two aunts where with me. Mom had gone out for awhile but would be back soon. The nurse gave me shot and I was back to sleep. The second time, my sister Linda and cousin Sandra were with me. They were holding my arm down, I had jerked upward and that arm had needles in it. Dad was there the third time with flowers from David. I remember telling them I was cold. Another shot. After seventy two hours I started waking up, but I was in a private room with a private nurse. The surgery had been a success and I would be able to have a normal life for the first time.
Dr. Tosh continued to see me over the next two years for follow ups. In May 1967 I went to see him just weeks before David and I were married. We talked about my being able to have children. He told me I now had a chance, but to expect some problems. Possibly total bed rest. Might not be able to carry a baby full term. and I would have to have a c-section. During the surgery he had to remove the birth canal.
Before I left the office he talked about that December day in 1964. He said, "Brenda, your family never knew how bad the pain was or how it was effecting your mind, did they"! I shook my head no and he continued, "I saw it in your eyes that day. Your mind was no longer dealing with the pain.I knew we had to take steps that day to get you through until surgery and allow your mind to heal. I knew we were about to lose you. That is why I stopped your periods." He saw what was going on in my mind just by looking in my eyes, yet not one of my family had any idea how bad off I was.
I am so grateful to Dr. Tosh. He saved not only my life from living in pain, but my sanity as well. He made it possible for David and I to have two wonderful healthy little boys. Most of all I give thanks to God for his grace and protection through those years of physical pain and for the wisdom and knowledge that he gave Dr. Tosh.
I saw Dr. Tosh over the years. The last time was seventeen years after the surgery. I had to have one more surgery, he had to remove all the work he had originally done. His greatest delight was seeing our two little boys, Michael and James.
(C) Copyright. All rights reserved 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
She Said Yes
So much has been going through my mind this past week. Can't help but grieve with the families in Oklahoma. I can't imagine their depth of grief. I think about David's cousin Deb. She is the main caregiver for her husband and each day a little more of his ability to function slips away. What deep conviction and commitment she has and I admire her very much. Our friend Lavern is the caregiver for his wife. He struggles with what to allow her to try and do and what he must say no to. They have been such a blessing to our lives and we grieve for all they are going through.
Last night we watched a war movie. I couldn't help but think about my Uncle Loyd. I never met him, he died two years before I was born. A medic in the war, killed while helping another soldier. Mom never allowed any kind of war show to be watched in our home. She was very close to this one brother. Just as I was so very close to my brother James. I still hurt from losing to him to cancer.
As I have thought about all of these things, I've had to ask, Why? Why, has God allowed the illnesses that rob us of life itself. Why the natural disasters, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes and I realize it goes back to the beginning of time, when Eve said yes.Go with me as I explore the results of saying yes. How it affected the past and how it will affect the future. I have written from a woman's view point, but this also covers any man that accepts God's calling.
May God bless each one of you. Remember those that have given their life for us. Top of the list is Christ.
She Said Yes
The enemy of God had only hatred for Eve. To the garden of Eden he went for the destruction of man. With lies and deception he had it his way. Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden of Eden, no longer in close fellowship with the God of creation. Because she said yes.
Out of the garden into the cruel world, suddenly they realized all they had lost. For their meals and clothing they now would toil. All around was danger and fear. All because she said yes.
Adam now toils from morning till night, just to provide clothing and food. Eve with great pain in delivery a family is born. Heartaches and sorrow will follow throughout all generations. Because she said yes.
Death now has come to the people of earth. Sickness, disease, hatred and murder. So many innocent will suffer because of that one sin. Grief for today and grief for tomorrow will be carried into each generation. All because she said yes.
The Angel of God from heaven above, to Mary appeared. God's plan of redemption would be offered to her. The invitation from God held what had been chosen for her. She accepted her fate and Satan enraged began his plan to destroy the child that she was to bare. All because she said yes.
The fate she accepted would bring her great heartache and pain. The burdens she carried would take great courage and strength. Her decision that day would change lives throughout all generations. Yet, she said yes.
Rejection and shame, the enemy tried to discredit her value and worth. To Joseph the Angel then came, revealing the truth of the child Mary carried. He accepted Mary's fate and by her side he would stand, until he took his last breath. All because she said yes.
In a lowly stable of stone, our Savior was born. No family, no great celebration was there for the King of the nation. The shepherds and wise men acknowledged his birth with honor, praise and gifts for the new born King. Mary hid all this in her heart. She carried the burdens, knowing his life would always be in danger from the enemy of God. Because she said yes.
A troubled life of adventure for the child that she nurtured. Knowing someday he would accept his own fate. With heartaches and tears is how it would end.But still she said yes..
A special invitation to each woman from God. Will you accept the invitation that carries your fate. From the enemy of God, there will only be hate. A friend, a mother, sister or wife, to stand by the side of a man, to share in his fate. Bringing all glory, praise and honor to our father above. All because you have said yes.
(C) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Last night we watched a war movie. I couldn't help but think about my Uncle Loyd. I never met him, he died two years before I was born. A medic in the war, killed while helping another soldier. Mom never allowed any kind of war show to be watched in our home. She was very close to this one brother. Just as I was so very close to my brother James. I still hurt from losing to him to cancer.
As I have thought about all of these things, I've had to ask, Why? Why, has God allowed the illnesses that rob us of life itself. Why the natural disasters, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes and I realize it goes back to the beginning of time, when Eve said yes.Go with me as I explore the results of saying yes. How it affected the past and how it will affect the future. I have written from a woman's view point, but this also covers any man that accepts God's calling.
May God bless each one of you. Remember those that have given their life for us. Top of the list is Christ.
She Said Yes
The enemy of God had only hatred for Eve. To the garden of Eden he went for the destruction of man. With lies and deception he had it his way. Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden of Eden, no longer in close fellowship with the God of creation. Because she said yes.
Out of the garden into the cruel world, suddenly they realized all they had lost. For their meals and clothing they now would toil. All around was danger and fear. All because she said yes.
Adam now toils from morning till night, just to provide clothing and food. Eve with great pain in delivery a family is born. Heartaches and sorrow will follow throughout all generations. Because she said yes.
Death now has come to the people of earth. Sickness, disease, hatred and murder. So many innocent will suffer because of that one sin. Grief for today and grief for tomorrow will be carried into each generation. All because she said yes.
The Angel of God from heaven above, to Mary appeared. God's plan of redemption would be offered to her. The invitation from God held what had been chosen for her. She accepted her fate and Satan enraged began his plan to destroy the child that she was to bare. All because she said yes.
The fate she accepted would bring her great heartache and pain. The burdens she carried would take great courage and strength. Her decision that day would change lives throughout all generations. Yet, she said yes.
Rejection and shame, the enemy tried to discredit her value and worth. To Joseph the Angel then came, revealing the truth of the child Mary carried. He accepted Mary's fate and by her side he would stand, until he took his last breath. All because she said yes.
In a lowly stable of stone, our Savior was born. No family, no great celebration was there for the King of the nation. The shepherds and wise men acknowledged his birth with honor, praise and gifts for the new born King. Mary hid all this in her heart. She carried the burdens, knowing his life would always be in danger from the enemy of God. Because she said yes.
A troubled life of adventure for the child that she nurtured. Knowing someday he would accept his own fate. With heartaches and tears is how it would end.But still she said yes..
A special invitation to each woman from God. Will you accept the invitation that carries your fate. From the enemy of God, there will only be hate. A friend, a mother, sister or wife, to stand by the side of a man, to share in his fate. Bringing all glory, praise and honor to our father above. All because you have said yes.
(C) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Friday, May 17, 2013
No Change Is Easy
Over the past several weeks I have been dealing with personal things in my life that need to change. Not easy to accept that you may need to look at your life and make some changes. We get comfortable with our habits and want to stay where we are at. If our habits and views have an effect on the people in our lives, family, friends or acquaintances, then we need to ask, is it a good or bad effect I am having on their life? Ask, am I at peace or is there turmoil all around me? It is hard for a child to change their ways but even harder for an adult many times. As a Christian those changes for the good must have the leading of the Holy Spirit. Are we willing to surrender to the Lord's will in our lives? My prayer is that each of us will look at the effect we have on others and ask the question, is my influence for the good or bad? I share today, No Change Is Easy, what I need to do to make the changes that God is showing me, need to be made but it is up to me.
No Change Is Easy
Are we to comfortable with our old habits and ways? Few of us like changes and some even fear change. Breaking old habits and changing our views, takes time and effort. It requires a commitment that we don't always want to invest in.
We do the things we don't want to do and don't do the things we want to do. In the bible, Romans chapter seven talks about this very thing. Even the followers of Christ had to struggle with the same problems we have today. True change can only come as we dedicate and surrender our lives to the Lord. Depending more and more on the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us moment by moment. We cannot be a Sunday and Wednesday Christian only. We must walk daily on his path not ours. Only then will we make the changes in our lives that are lasting.
With change we grow out of our childish ways into those of an adult. As a Christian we will look at life from a different perspective. Not through our own eyes but with the eyes of God. We will see sin as God sees it. True change, with the Lord in our lives, brings peace, joy and often understanding. Others will see the change and hopefully they will want that change for their own lives. We are not on this earth for our own wants but to fulfill the will of our father in heaven. We have a calling and purpose on our lives. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life and show you the purpose for which you were created.
I Corinthians 136:11-12 KJV
When I was a child, I spake as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
(c) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Accept The Person
Woke up early this morning. Lots of concerns on my mind and my heart. Family and friends going through some tough times and yet I see so many blessing at the same time. We serve a might God and miracles happen everyday that we don't even notice. The last few weeks as I had my bible studies and Wednesday night teachings at church, there seems to be a theme of loving our neighbors and accepting others. Two questions have kept coming up, one , who is our neighbor and how do you forgive the unforgivable? If separated from God, our neighborhood is very limited and forgiveness is not often there. These are questions I have struggled with but God taught me some lessons years ago that have helped me through some touch times, I pray it will help you as I share Accept The Person. We are all children of God and he calls us to love even the unlovable and our enemy.
Accept The Person
Learning to deal with life, for a time in the past, I was part of some support groups. It was after one of the meetings that the Lord taught me a valuable lesson.
A lady asked if she could talk privately with me. Yes, was the answer. As we sat down to talk, she shared that she felt I was someone safe to take to and could help and advise her in finding a sponsor in the 12 step group. She wanted someone with medical knowledge and then she shared about her sexual issues. I was shocked and offended and wanted to run away. Suddenly the Lord spoke to me. His voice was so real and so clear that I looked around the closed room to see who had spoken to me. The Lord said, Brenda, her problems are my business, not yours. Accept them as a person and leave their problems to me. We need to remember that God is not shocked or surprised by anything that happens or we learn about.
I humbly took a deep breath and told her, I believe I know someone that is in the medical field and would be willing to work with you. If I have your permission, I will speak to them on your behalf. A few days later I was able to talk to someone for her and got them connected. I've never known the outcome, was none of my business and a short time after that she moved away.
There was a valuable lesson learned that day and it helped to teach me about forgiveness. Years later when the Lord called on me to forgive the man who molested our youngest son, I remembered the lesson that day and was able to forgive the man and let the Lord deal with what he had done. It didn't mean he went free, he had to answer to the law for his crime but, it freed our family of being his victim any longer. The bondage was broken. Forgiveness breaks emotional bondage and prevents another's actions from destroying our hearts.
The problems of a man or a woman are Gods business not ours. Sadly to often we are the victim of the actions they take. We are to deal with the legal aspects, they are not to go free when they break the law. But, God will deal with the evil in their hearts. To love the person is what we are called to do.It requires loving God enough to say, I forgive.
Paul said it best in the New International Version
2 Cortinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insult, in hardships, "in persecutions," in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(c) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
(c) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Arrogance In America
As I have watched the news and listened to people while I am out shopping or going for a walk, I hear so much negative. Everything is about people and their wants and the belief that we owe them a living and a happy life. Very little care for the sick or hurting in the world. America has been so blessed in the past. We have been free to live the way we choose. But with freedom come responsibility to share how those freedoms came to be. It is the brave men and women of this country that have fought and many have died, over the past generations to make sure we have freedom. Today the military is looked down on and pushed aside as if they have no value. We have done the same to God. We demand our rights and freedom to live as we choose with no regard to why or how those freedoms are there for us. It cost Christ everything to purchase our freedom but how many truly care! How long will God tolerate the arrogance in America before he says "Enough".
Arrogance In America
How long will God tolerate the arrogance in America? Jobs are being lost and the country is in debt. Look at what is happening to families now! To often both husband and wife have lost their jobs. Some families are living on the streets. How arrogant to think it can't happen to me. Who is their God now?
What would happen if our great country became like a 3rd world country. No jobs, no food, no medication, no water. No one to care; because it is the same for everyone. How would we see God then? That he has failed us, he is not there for us. He doesn't care that our children are starving?
Many look down on those with less than we have, especially 3rd world countries. There they are fighting wars, famine, abuse, no water, no work for anyone. Very few homes and families living together. Children raising younger siblings because both parents have died. Do we look down on the man and think they have no value or worth because they are not providing for their family? How arrogant we are. But for the grace of God that could be America, now or in the future. What will it take for us to bend our knees to Almighty God?
We look to ourselves to provide for our families. Prayer requests are for the job of our choice. A nice place to live. We don't ask God to provide our needs but to give us our wants. Sadly, to often we have little time to even thank God for what he has done and for what he has given us.
What would we do, if we had to totally depend on God for everything, moment by moment? Could wee do it? We are called to be his disciples, the fields are ripe for harvest, are we sharing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with our hurting nation? We are to be obedient, to love, to share the gospel message. As the disciples of two thousand years ago, we are to depend on God for all our needs. Are we arrogant enough to believe that God will not strip America of everything to get our attention? Revival must begin in the hearts of the believers. We cannot wait for it to start with someone else, it must start with me and you. Is God calling you to revival? I must ask. am I being called and how will I answer?
II Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways: then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
(c) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Arrogance In America
How long will God tolerate the arrogance in America? Jobs are being lost and the country is in debt. Look at what is happening to families now! To often both husband and wife have lost their jobs. Some families are living on the streets. How arrogant to think it can't happen to me. Who is their God now?
What would happen if our great country became like a 3rd world country. No jobs, no food, no medication, no water. No one to care; because it is the same for everyone. How would we see God then? That he has failed us, he is not there for us. He doesn't care that our children are starving?
Many look down on those with less than we have, especially 3rd world countries. There they are fighting wars, famine, abuse, no water, no work for anyone. Very few homes and families living together. Children raising younger siblings because both parents have died. Do we look down on the man and think they have no value or worth because they are not providing for their family? How arrogant we are. But for the grace of God that could be America, now or in the future. What will it take for us to bend our knees to Almighty God?
We look to ourselves to provide for our families. Prayer requests are for the job of our choice. A nice place to live. We don't ask God to provide our needs but to give us our wants. Sadly, to often we have little time to even thank God for what he has done and for what he has given us.
What would we do, if we had to totally depend on God for everything, moment by moment? Could wee do it? We are called to be his disciples, the fields are ripe for harvest, are we sharing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with our hurting nation? We are to be obedient, to love, to share the gospel message. As the disciples of two thousand years ago, we are to depend on God for all our needs. Are we arrogant enough to believe that God will not strip America of everything to get our attention? Revival must begin in the hearts of the believers. We cannot wait for it to start with someone else, it must start with me and you. Is God calling you to revival? I must ask. am I being called and how will I answer?
II Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways: then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
(c) Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Tears Of Grace
So much is still going on in our country. Many tears are shed for the lost and those left behind that are have trouble finding peace. We all shed tears through out our lives, tears of joy, happiness, sorrow, grief and regrets. God keeps track of our tears, he gathers them for he knows they are special to each one of us. God shares the joys and heartaches that are with each tear. I pray this will give bring someone comfort in these troubled times. My view of tears as a parent.
Tears of Grace
Throughout life we shed tears for many reasons. Tears in every phase of our lives, from our birth to our death. The birth of a baby, their first word spoken, their first steps taken. Tears of pride and joy. A child's first day of school. A recital or first sports event. The growth through each phase of their young lives. Changing from a child to a teen, tears of pride.
Drivers test passed, the first date. Watching them blossom with their own special gifts. A singer, dancer, construction worker and some even politics is what the future will bring. The tears of concern as we loosen the strings of parenthood. We watch as they become young adults, leaving home for a new school or a career in life. Watching as they make choices that will effect the rest of their life. The tears of anxiety, pride and sometimes heartaches for poor choices they make.
Then the years with new concerns, marriage and children of their own. Did we teach them all they need to know or did we fail in some way. Moving into a new life with new friends, new family connections, new homes often far away. They change constantly pulling them further from our home. Tears, a mix of pride, joy, anxiety and hope for their lives.
Illness and death bring a new kind of tears. Learning of an illness that will change a life and family forever. The death of someone we love, how do we control; the tears. Tears of heartaches and sorrow. Sometimes the tears of anger. In life there is nothing that is perfect or forever. Loss of a home or job, tears of fear facing tomorrow. So many living in hunger and homelessness, many neglected and abused. Others bad choices made. Drugs, abortion, murder and hatred, all seeking our destruction. Tears of great sorrow and sometimes shame.
The tears we shed, knowing we are forgiven and safe in the arms of our Lord. Each tear caught in a bottle of grace, returned to us as peace, if are willing to receive. No anger, no bitterness, revenge or hate can come between me and Gods forgiving grace. Tears of every emotion there is, but, we know Gods grace is more than sufficient to cover them all. Every tear is caught up in that bottle of grace for each man of creation. The hands of our Lord to guard and protect for the treasure they are. Tears of grace teaching us and drawing us ever closer to the Lord. The tears of grace is a part of our journey and touches every life.
Psalm 56:8-13 JKV
Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: I know; for God is for me. In God will I praise his word: in the Lord will I praise praise his word. In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. Thy vows are upon me, O God; I will render praise unto thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death: will not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living.
© Copyright 2013 All right reserved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)